Child independence - how to teach a child to be independent?

What is independence?

When talking about an independent child, we most often imagine a toddler tying his shoelaces without outside help or enthusiastically playing in his room in splendid isolation. However, independence is a broader concept that goes beyond self-care and the ability to entertain oneself. Independence also means:

initiative - the ability to act on one’s own impulse, and not at the request of an adult;
responsibility - readiness to fulfill one’s promises and responsibilities, understanding the consequences that actions can lead to, as well as the awareness that personal success and achievements depend only on oneself;
self-confidence and adequate self-esteem;
ability to set and achieve goals, make decisions.

Not all adults can boast of a full set of these qualities. And at first glance, it may seem that a child does not become independent until high school age. This is a common misconception - in fact, independence is formed in early childhood (at 1.5-2 years), when the child begins to actively explore the world.

In fact, the presence of the above qualities symbolizes the child’s maturation - the more independent he is, the more he resembles an adult. He is able to take care of himself, adequately assess the danger and make a decision in a critical situation. This has a positive impact on your studies, friendships, family relationships and future careers.

INTRODUCTION

The relevance of research. The problem of developing independence in children has been and remains one of the most pressing in pedagogy. The volitional qualities of a person are the core side of a person’s character, and serious attention should be paid to their upbringing. A very important volitional quality necessary for a child’s future activities is independence.

Interest in the problem we are studying is currently determined by the humanistic tasks of a more complete disclosure of the individuality of the developing personality. Life in all its manifestations is becoming more diverse and complex; what is required from a person is not stereotyped, habitual actions, but a creative approach to solving large and small problems, the ability to independently pose and solve new problems. The younger the children, the weaker their ability to act independently. They are unable to control themselves, so they imitate others.

The expediency of forming at the stage of preschool childhood an individual who does not passively contemplate reality, but actively transforms it, is outlined in a number of studies and regulatory legal documents. Thus, in the “Concept of Preschool Education” it is noted that it is necessary to “encourage children to take initiative and independence”; it defines the main provisions for the formation of not just a social individual, but a socially active personality.

The problem of independence is currently being studied in various aspects. The following are explored: the essence of preschooler independence, its nature; structure and correlation of components of independence; stages, conditions and methods of developing the independence of a preschooler; the relationship between independence and various mental processes.

All of the above determines the relevance of the work and allows us to formulate a hypothesis, purpose and objectives of the study.

Purpose of the study: to study the level of formation of independence in children of senior preschool age.

Object of study: the process of developing independence in older preschoolers.

Subject of research: children of senior preschool age.

Based on the goal, the following research tasks were set:

.Reveal the theoretical foundations for the formation of independence in preschool children.

. To determine the conditions for the formation of independence in preschool children. Select methods and techniques for conducting empirical research.

. To conduct a study of the level of independence development in children of senior preschool age.

Research hypothesis: the formation of independence in children of senior preschool age will be carried out most successfully if:

parental attitudes towards the formation of independence in children of senior preschool age have been established;

- the criteria and levels of formation of independence of older preschoolers have been determined, taking into account its specifics;

The base of the study is children and their parents of the Milyashkay MBDOU in the village of Muslyumovo, Muslyumovo district.

Research methods:

Methodology of “Diagnostics of Parental Attitudes”, A.Ya. Varga, V.V. Stolin;

“Story Pictures” technique, E.O. Smirnova, R.R. Kalinina;

“The fourth odd one” technique;

“Construction” technique, S. Zabramnoy;

“Sculpture” technique;

“Multi-colored balls” technique.

CHAPTER 1. Theoretical foundations for the formation of independence in preschool children

preschooler independence education

1.1 The concept of independence in psychological and pedagogical research

Children's independence has recently increasingly become the object of increased attention by scientists, teachers and educators. This is connected not so much with the implementation of a person-oriented and activity-based approach to the development, upbringing and education of children, but with the need to solve the problem of preparing the younger generation for living conditions in modern society, a practice-oriented approach to organizing the educational process. Within the framework of this approach, it is believed that children in the process of education and training in kindergarten must learn to independently set the goals and objectives of their activities, analyze its conditions, formulate problems and hypotheses, assumptions about options for solving problem situations, find means for this, and overcome disagreements , organize and adjust the course of both individual and joint activities, achieving a positive result.

Independence - independence, freedom from external influences, coercion, from outside support and assistance. Independence - the ability to act independently, make judgments, have initiative, and determination. Such definitions are given by the Explanatory Dictionary of the Russian Language. In pedagogy, this is one of the volitional spheres of the individual. This is the ability not to be influenced by various factors, to act on the basis of one’s views and motives.

Interest in this problem is due, first of all, to the fact that the desire for independence is characteristic of young children. This is an internal need of the child’s growing body that needs to be supported and developed.

Any activity is independent only when the person performing it masters it in full, i.e. becomes its carrier. In this regard, independence can be defined as a special moment in the formation of an integral activity, as a criterion for the degree of mastery of this activity.

The authors note that independence is one of the leading qualities of a person, expressed in the ability to set a specific goal, persistently achieve its fulfillment on one’s own, take a responsible attitude towards one’s activities, and act consciously and proactively not only in a familiar environment, but also in new conditions, requiring non-standard decisions.

According to specialist teachers and psychologists, independence is a mental state of an individual, which includes: the ability to set a task for oneself; the ability to retain in memory the ultimate goal of an action and organize one’s actions in line with its achievement; the ability to perform actions to varying degrees of complexity without outside help, and to correlate the result obtained with the original intention.

Numerous studies by teachers and psychologists devoted to the problem of independence of preschool children

in their play and work activities, in everyday behavior,

allow us to clarify some signs of a child’s independence.

1. A child’s independence has nothing to do with his spontaneous behavior. Behind the independence of a child (of any age) there is always the leadership role and demands of an adult.

2. The level of independence of children increases with their development, with their increasing ability to perform increasingly complex physical and mental actions.

. Three stages can be outlined in the development of independence.

The first stage is when the child acts in his usual conditions, in which basic habits were developed, without reminders, encouragement and help from an adult (he himself removes building material after playing; he himself goes to wash his hands when he is called to the table; he himself says “please” ” and “thank you” when asking for something or thanking for help).

The second stage - the child independently uses familiar methods of action in new, unusual, but close and homogeneous situations. For example, having learned to clean her room, Natasha, without prompting from adults, swept her grandmother’s room herself and put the dishes in an unfamiliar closet. Without her mother’s request, Ira herself brought a chair from the room into the kitchen and invited the neighbor, who came to see her mother, to sit down. In kindergarten she was taught to offer a chair to guests.

At the third stage, a further transfer is possible. The mastered rule acquires a generalized character and becomes a criterion for the child to determine his behavior in any conditions.

Thus, independence is always a product of submission to the demands of adults and at the same time the child’s own initiative. And the better, deeper, and more meaningfully a child has mastered the rules of behavior, the greater his ability to proactively and independently apply them in new, diverse living conditions.

The competency-based approach is becoming the leading direction in the modernization of the domestic education system. It is worked out most deeply in the basic development program for preschool children “Origins”. Competence in the program is defined as the most important comprehensive characteristic of an individual, which includes a number of aspects: intellectual, linguistic, social and others, which reflect the achievements of the child’s personal development. Important indicators of a child’s social competence are voluntariness—the ability to control one’s behavior in accordance with ideas, rules, and norms; the ability to build cooperative relationships in the process of training and education; competence in the field of social and labor activities; self-organization skills, ability to work in a team. Part of social competence is the child’s competence in the everyday sphere.

Analyzing the acquired skills and formed qualities that correspond to key competencies (general cultural, physical, cognitive, value-semantic, communicative, personal competencies (Appendix 1)), we can easily identify independence as one of the qualities of a socially competent person or as the basis for the formation of other significant social qualities , such as, for example, subjective activity, creative initiative, self-knowledge, self-perception, self-change, self-development. By and large, a child’s independence is the basis for the formation of all key competencies. The child’s failure to demonstrate independent active activity leads to the impossibility of him acquiring general cultural, cognitive, and personal competencies, i.e., it leads to social immaturity. It is through active activity and independent trial and error that a child gains experience in various areas of life, including social.

The development of independence in preschool age is associated with the child’s mastery of various types of activities (play, work), in which he acquires the opportunity to demonstrate his subjective position.

The independence of children unfolds from independence of a reproductive nature to independence with elements of creativity, with a steady increase in the role of children's consciousness, self-control and self-esteem in the implementation of activities.

Each activity has a unique impact on the development of different components of independence.

. Thus, the game promotes the development of activity and initiative.

Different approaches to children's play are reflected in many works. Among these approaches, one can highlight the explanation of the nature of the essence of children's play, as a form of communication (M. I. Lisina), or as a form of activity, including the assimilation of adult activities (D. B. Elkonin), or as a manifestation and condition of mental development (Piaget AND.).

Each of these approaches, while highlighting some aspect of the game, ultimately turns out to be insufficient to explain the essence and specifics of children's play as a whole.

Despite the fact that gaming activity is leading in preschool age, its importance does not decrease subsequently. L.S. Vygotsky noted that in preschool age, play and activities, play and work, form two main channels along which the activities of preschoolers flow. Vygotsky L.S. I saw in play an inexhaustible source of personal development, a sphere that defines the “zone of proximal development.”

Hence, the essence of the problem lies in the influence of the game on the development of children’s independence, creative abilities, and personal qualities. The game creates a positive emotional background, against which all mental processes occur most actively. The use of gaming techniques and methods, their sequence and interrelation will help in solving this problem.

The relevance of the problem under study is caused by the need of psychologists, teachers, and parents for improved methods of psychological and pedagogical influence on the developing personality of the child in order to develop the independence of children.

Perhaps the game attracts the child with its incomprehensible variety of situations that require him to actively demonstrate individuality, intelligence, resourcefulness, creativity and independence

. Work activity provides favorable opportunities for developing purposefulness and awareness of actions, and perseverance in achieving results. Already a young child has a desire to independently perform actions with objects related to the world of adults (wash dishes, set the table, vacuum, etc.). This desire can be in demand and developed in various types of household work. Formation of household skills

labor is necessary, first of all, for the development of independence.

In older preschool age, the child’s attitude towards his responsibilities changes and responsibility for his work appears. A new motive appears - “to do for others”, the child shows initiative, his attitude towards himself changes, and objective self-esteem appears.

By performing basic work skills, children begin to work together, distribute responsibilities among themselves, negotiate with each other, carry out their actions so that the other can successfully continue them.

Older preschoolers help each other, control, correct each other, show initiative and independence, have a correct attitude towards evaluating their work, rarely praise themselves, and often show modesty when evaluating their work (Elkonin D.B.).

Elementary forms of household labor are interesting and important because a unique relationship is established between a child and an adult: these are relationships of real mutual assistance, coordination of actions, and distribution of responsibilities. All these relationships, arising in preschool age, continue to develop in the future.

. Productive activities develop the child’s independence from adults and the desire to find adequate means of self-expression.

. Communication. At preschool age, in addition to communication with adults, communication with peers is differentiated and reaches an expanded form, the basis of which is a relationship of mutual respect, possible only between equals. By the age of five to seven

the peer acquires individuality in the eyes of the child. An older preschooler shows a keen interest in his friends, which manifests itself in the form of active imitation and a desire for competition.

According to M.I. Lisina, a child’s communication with peers leads to the emergence of an image of another person and, in parallel, an image of himself.

. Self-organization is an activity aimed at searching and creatively transforming reality, high adaptability, active mobilization of the individual’s internal resources. In psychology, human activity is considered as internal (mental) and external (motor) activity, regulated by a conscious goal.

Based on the above, independence is presented as the initial basis. The launching pad for the formation of self-organization as a whole, which is closely related to the subjective activity of the individual.

One of the common factors of positive communication between children is considered to be the subjective activity of the individual, presented in the form of independence—a quality that is undoubtedly necessary for the development of the child’s personality. Independence, acting as a personal factor, can determine the positive relationships of children in the family.

Hard work and independence, a developed ability for self-regulation create favorable opportunities for the development of preschool children outside of direct communication with adults or peers. We are talking, in particular, about the ability of children of this age to spend hours alone doing what they love. At this age, it is important to provide the child with various didactic educational games.

Indicators of independence of an older preschooler are: the desire to solve problems of activity without outside help

other people, the ability to set a goal for an activity, carry out basic planning, implement what was planned and get a result adequate to the goal, as well as the ability to show initiative and creativity in solving emerging problems.

Characteristic features of developed independence:

a) the ability to perform work on one’s own initiative, to notice the need for certain actions (water flowers if the ground is dry;

when you see a mess, clean it up);

b) the ability to perform work without outside help, without the constant supervision of an adult;

c) consciousness of actions, the presence of basic planning (the ability to understand the purpose of the work and foresee its result);

d) the ability to give a fairly adequate assessment of one’s work and exercise basic self-control;

e) the ability to transfer known methods of action to new conditions.

The lag in the development of independence in preschoolers is largely a consequence of improper organization of children’s activities, errors in upbringing: excessive regulation of activities, constant control and guardianship, the predominance of direct methods of directing children’s actions, learning to act by directly imitating an adult’s demonstration, etc. And vice versa, upbringing independence is successful when an adult actively encourages children to take initiative, teaches them to independently plan upcoming work, develops the ability to talk about upcoming work, highlight its goal and result.

Teaching children basic self-control plays an important role in the development of independence. Self-control is mastered by children gradually: from the ability to exercise it based on the achieved result to self-control over the way the activity is carried out and on this basis to self-control over the activity as a whole.

It is necessary to develop the desire for friendly independent activity, cultivate the habit of using morally acceptable methods of interaction, and actively introduce elements of mutual learning and mutual assistance. The use of tasks such as “Teach your friend what you can do yourself,” performing work according to the collective plan of its participants, independent organization of activities according to the task proposed by the teacher - all this contributes to the gradual development of children’s independence in joint activities. The incentive to demonstrate independence is a positive assessment of the teacher, the creation of public opinion, as well as the desire of older preschoolers to become independent, actively supported by the teacher.

Modern research has shown the effectiveness of using special external visual aids in older groups that make it easier for the child to independently complete certain tasks and organize activities correctly.

Temperament, innate abilities, area of interest, family style of reward and punishment - all significantly influence the pace of development of children's independence. Therefore, you should not get carried away by age norms; it is better to compare the child’s independence with that

what happened a week, month or year ago. If his “repertoire” of independent actions grows, it means that he is developing normally, even if he is not fully coping with what his peers are more successful in.

Independence is not given to a person from birth. It develops as children grow older and has its own characteristics at each age stage. And it is important for parents to take this into account, change the methods of raising the child, respect his independence, support his aspirations, encourage and tactfully guide his independent actions. Undoubtedly, independence should be encouraged, moreover, it should be prepared for it.

The first manifestations of independence should be stimulated, because at an early age the child’s self-esteem is not yet sufficiently developed, and it is mainly replaced by the assessments of parents and other adults. Self-esteem begins with self-criticism, i.e. with doubts about the correctness of their actions.

In the process of life, the child’s personality is subject to constant control by adults, the external environment, and the nearest microsociety. Gradually, he develops a self-organizing principle, which, in our opinion, is expressed in independence, activity, and harmonization of relationships between members of the team and the family itself.

Fostering independence is an integral requirement of today's reality, and presupposes the formation of purposefulness, independence, breadth of views, thinking, flexibility of mind and actions, entrepreneurship and a sober analysis of phenomena and situations occurring in life. To avoid mistakes in upbringing, it should be remembered that the qualities that characterize independence are closely related to other aspects of the personality and appear ambiguously in different combinations and conditions. The same trait of independence in combination with some qualities can characterize a person positively, but in combination with others - negatively.

Despite the inconsistency in defining the independence of preschool children, scientists are unanimous on one thing: independence is the most important characteristic of a person; independence cannot arise in isolation from other personal properties (arbitrariness, will, determination); without independence, a person does not become complete.

1.2 Conditions for the formation of independence in preschool children

The effectiveness of the formation of independence in children of senior preschool age will be facilitated by the following pedagogical conditions: targeted formation of independence in the family, taking into account the level of development of this quality in the child; cooperation between preschool educational institutions and families in order to increase the level of independence of children.

Forming independence is a long and complex process, and parents play a major role in it. It depends on them how the child will grow up.

A child’s success in various activities largely depends on the ability to act independently, but it is the development of independence that often worries parents the least. Only after sending their child to kindergarten, they are surprised to discover that their “charming bunny” lags behind his peers, and together with the teacher they begin to take decisive action to correct the current situation.

The nature of the relationship between preschool children and their parents depends on many factors. Let us designate the most significant ones, those that seriously influence the development of a child’s independence in older preschool age.

These include:

·personal characteristics of the parental figure, forms of behavior of parents in the family and outside it;

·personal characteristics of the child;

· pedagogical competence of parents, their level of education;

·quality of emotional connections in parent-child relationships;

means of educational influence used by parents and other adults;

·involvement of the child in the life of the family;

·the degree of satisfaction of the child’s current needs in the family.

The psyche of a developing personality is active, each child will find his own path to independent knowledge of the surrounding reality, the problem is whether a growing person of five to seven years old will choose the social path. It is very important that older preschoolers choose such means of self-affirmation, find such ways of receiving parental attention, love and care that would help them in the experience of socialization and increase confidence in their abilities. Parents should help their children by sincerely accepting the individual manifestations of the growing person's personality.

Therefore, for adequate actions to develop independence in preschool age, parents should know a lot, but perhaps most importantly, knowledge about the stages of development of independence, as well as the rules for its formation.

Up to a certain point, all children’s actions are primitive: they roll a ball, wave a broom, put something in a box. These imitative operations are called actions “in the logic of the subject.” The child does not really think about why he is waving a broom - he simply reproduces a familiar action, not realizing that it has a special meaning: after its completion there should be a certain result - a clean floor. When a child sets his goal to make the apartment clean and for this purpose takes up a broom, then we can consider that he has taken the first step towards independence, acted “in the logic of the goal.” Taking initiative is the first component in developing independence.

If you help a child regularly, the second component of independence will soon be revealed in his actions - purposefulness, manifested in passion for the task, the desire to get not just any result, but the desired result. The child becomes diligent, persistent, and organized. Failure does not become a reason to abandon your plan, but forces you to redouble your efforts and, if necessary, even seek help. It is very important to help the child in time - this is a necessary condition for the development of his independence. The child will refuse help as soon as he feels that he can cope on his own. A child's sense of purpose manifests itself in unbridled initiatives: washing clothes like mom, or hammering nails like dad. But at first there is no skill, no perseverance, and so that the initiative does not disappear, you need to help. And parents, unfortunately, are not always willing to support children’s “attacks” of independence: they are both burdensome and unsafe. But it is also impossible to abruptly stop or often switch the child’s attention to actions that are more reasonable, in the opinion of adults: this will slow down the development of the child’s emerging independence and throw him back to primitive imitation. Only as a last resort, if he has already thought of something out of the ordinary, can he resort to this - otherwise, the initiative must be supported.

Having mastered the second component of independence - the purposeful implementation of his intentions, the child still remains dependent on the adult, or more precisely on his ability to correlate the result with how it should be. The child does not have enough experience to independently determine whether a result that suits everyone has been achieved. The bearer of this knowledge is an adult, so he must evaluate every independently conceived and carried out action of the child, and this is a whole art. With the appearance of the first sprouts of independence, the child becomes very sensitive to his rights to express it; he reacts just as sharply to the assessment of his actions. If you speak rudely, harshly, or indistinctly about his “adult” initiatives, they may disappear forever, along with your hopes for the child’s independence. Therefore, no matter how bizarre his idea may be, first praise it, emotionally support it, and only then tactfully explain why it didn’t work out. By listening to your arguments, over time he will learn all the concepts of “generally accepted.”

At the older preschool age, the child already almost unmistakably understands what he did well and what he did badly, what he should be ashamed of and what he shouldn’t, and without our assessment. This kind of ability—the function of self-control—is the final component in the formation of independence in objective activity. Having mastered the ability to independently plan, implement and control it, the child becomes to some extent independent of the adult. But this is only the first and very modest step on the path to mature independence.

There are several rules for developing independence:

Rule #1. It is impossible to evaluate the independence of people of different ages, different levels of mental and mental development, and different sociocultural layers by the same standards.

Scientists have identified a number of activities that maximally ensure the mental development of children at one or another stage of childhood - mastering them in full allows the child to become independent “according to his age.” So, from 3 to 7 years, the leading activity is play.

Rule #2. Independence is a subjective concept; it can be different when assessing the same action.

Independence is not so much the ability to perform some action

without outside help, as much as the ability to set new tasks and find solutions to them. As soon as a new action becomes available, the attitude towards it changes both in the child himself and in adults.

However, actively demonstrated independence does not last forever: the mastered action becomes routine, habitual and does not evoke the former delight of others. The child loses interest in him and begins to look for a new business, success in which would return this delight. This is why it is so difficult to determine at what age a child becomes completely independent. By and large, this never happens. Independence, as it were, flows from one sphere of activity to another and is localized somewhere between what has already been mastered and what is still being mastered - here it is recorded in the child’s consciousness as a special quality that elevates him in his own eyes and evokes the respect of others.

Rule #3. Independence does not mean complete freedom of action and behavior; it is always contained within the strict framework of accepted social norms.

Therefore, it is not any action alone, but only meaningful and socially acceptable. Over time, the child learns the main thing - independence should end in a result that suits everyone.

“General result” or “general effect” is an indispensable condition for the formation of true independence. It most often occurs in the interval from 2 to 3.5 years, when its three components are added up. They manifest themselves gradually and predominantly in the sphere of the child’s objective activity - this is sequential mastery

three levels of holistic objective activity.

It is naive to expect that a child will obediently do everything that adults tell him until a certain age, and then, one fine day, suddenly become independent, learn to set goals for himself and make meaningful decisions. In order for children to grow up independent, it is necessary to teach them not only everyday independence, i.e. the ability to dress, eat, make the bed and do simple housework independently, and not only the ability to communicate independently, but also the ability to make decisions independently and bear responsibility for the consequences of one’s actions. Rule #4. In preschool age, it is a good idea to give your child the opportunity to independently choose what he will wear today. But we should not forget that the child needs help with the choice. He needs to explain, for example, that it’s autumn, it’s raining, it’s cool outside, so summer clothes should be put off until spring, but from the autumn things he can choose what he likes best. You can also start shopping with your child at the store and take into account his choices.

Rule #5. But, perhaps, the main task of an adult is to accustom the child to the idea that for him, like everyone else in the family, there are certain rules and norms of behavior, and he must comply with them. To do this, it is important to assign a permanent assignment to the child that is appropriate for his age. Of course, a child’s capabilities in preschool age are still very limited, but they still exist. Even the smallest child of 2-3 years old, and even more so a preschooler, is able to clean, for example, his corner with toys. Also, the responsibility of a preschooler in the family can be watering the indoors.

plants, assistance in setting the dining table (laying out napkins, cutlery, putting out bread, etc.), assistance in caring for a pet, etc.

Rule #6. You should not protect your child from problems: let him face the negative consequences of his actions (or his inaction).

Rule #7. Fostering independence also involves developing in a child the ability to find something to do for himself and do something for a while without involving adults.

Rule #8. The main mistake adults make in nurturing children's independence is, most often, overprotection of the child and complete withdrawal from supporting his actions.

Rule #9. First of all, parents must show the child the possibilities that he has in a given situation, and give him the right to choose what to do. At the same time, you should definitely discuss with him the consequences that his actions may lead to. For example: “Do you want to disassemble the machine? Okay, it’s yours, you can do whatever you want with it, but just keep in mind that later it may not come together, and you will find yourself without a machine. Decide youself". A child must have an area of life where he makes decisions himself and is responsible for the consequences of his actions. For example, he himself can decide when he will clean or study, how to distribute a delicious dessert over several days, what clothes to wear

Why does a child grow up dependent?

Most often, the reason for a child’s lack of independence lies in the behavior of his parents. It is parents who make their children dependent by choosing an unsuccessful style of family education, which one way or another stifles children's initiative and responsibility in the bud. These are the reasons:

Excessive control : dictating a child’s actions is convenient - it saves a lot of time, but it only teaches you to follow commands and not set tasks for yourself. He grows up to be an excellent performer, but he is not able to do anything on his own.
Overprotection : in fear for the health and future of the child, parents surround him with excessive care, performing most tasks for him - from self-care to choosing friends. The child gets used to others doing everything for him, and turns out to be unprepared for adult life, where he needs to make decisions on his own, show initiative and bear responsibility.
Inflated expectations : when parents expect certain achievements, while not attaching importance to intermediate successes. In the absence of incentive (praise), the child loses motivation, does not realize the value of his daily efforts and small victories, and his self-esteem rapidly declines.
Unwillingness to accept the child's growing up : some parents find it difficult to come to terms with the fact that a child may have his own opinion - different from theirs; they strive to protect him from mistakes that are obvious to them, prohibiting certain things. This provokes conflicts, and if parents gain the upper hand, the child loses self-confidence and control over his own life.

These are common reasons that encourage parents to suppress children's independence. In practice, in everyday life, this manifests itself in the following things:

parents try to keep their child busy as much as possible, depriving him of free time;
They are used to being overly on the safe side: they don’t leave the child at home alone, they don’t allow them to use household appliances, etc.;
live by the principle “it’s easier to do it yourself than to teach a child”;
fails to demonstrate a worthy personal example.

Nurturing independence is the art of gradually letting go of a child, accepting his growing up, the ability to have his own point of view, make mistakes and learn from them. If this is not done on time, in the future the child will hardly:

will achieve success in his career because he will not be able to defend his professional opinion in the team and before his superiors;
will be able to take responsibility for his family and children because he lacks this skill;
will take risks, strive for change, because he is afraid of the unknown and is not confident in his abilities.

Progress of the game:

1) The teacher brings the doll and says that the doll is very tired and wants to sleep, asks the children to help her undress.

2) Children, one by one, at the direction of the teacher, remove the clothes from the doll and, carefully folding them, place them on a chair.

The teacher guides their actions, helping to correctly fold this or that part of the doll’s toilet, showing how to do it correctly. The doll is completely undressed (only panties and a beacon are left), they put slippers on her and lead her to the bed. Having put the doll to bed, the teacher turns her on her side, carefully covers her, gently strokes her head and says “Sleep!”

. Having shown the children that the doll has fallen asleep, the teacher asks them to be quiet.

3) Evaluation of the game: during the game, it turned out that most of the children undressed the doll correctly and in a certain sequence, but not all children were able to neatly fold the clothes on the high chair. Sasha, Christina, Olya could not unfasten the buttons on the dress. Boys don't know how to turn their tights inside out.

In the future, in order to improve children's independence outcomes, it is necessary to draw the attention of parents to this problem and encourage them to provide their children with more independence during dressing and undressing. Conclusion

Conclusion

Our group has done a lot of work to develop children’s independence in self-care. As a result of this work, most children have already developed basic self-care skills: kids know how to put on and take off clothes themselves, unzip a jacket, put clothes away in a locker, and carefully hang clothes on a high chair after undressing. Children know how to hold a spoon, eat soup from a plate, drink from a mug, wipe their mouth with a napkin, wash their hands, wring out their hands and dry with their towel. As a result of this, we began to devote more time to organizing a variety of educational activities: motor, play, speech, music, experimentation. In our opinion, we were able to make the life of children in kindergarten more interesting.

Dealing in depth with the problem of developing independence in young children, we see the need to continue this work with children at the next age stage.

Thus, we can draw the following conclusion:

Timely mastery of self-service processes gives the child the opportunity to assert himself, feel independent and skillful. Gradually the habit of cleanliness, neatness and neatness is formed. During the period of developing self-service skills, you need to remember that the child’s skills and abilities are formed gradually, but with constant and systematic work in this direction.

We noticed the following:

- children free from adult care become more independent and confident in their abilities. By serving themselves, they begin to understand the value of adult care and gradually show concern for their loved ones;

— self-care work increases the body’s performance and endurance, develops dexterity, coordination of movements, and provides aesthetic pleasure;

— constancy and unity of requirements from the kindergarten and the family for children ensure the strength of skills, create the prerequisites for the formation of the need for cleanliness and tidiness, and the habit of self-service.

Literature

1. Volzhanina T. Nurturing independence: advice to parents of children of all ages \\ “Grapes”

-2010-№37.

2. Gubanova N. F. Development of gaming activities: junior group. - M.: MOSAIC-SYNTHESIS, 2014.-128 p. Educational and methodological kit for the program “From birth to school”

3. Krasnoshchekova N. V. “Plot-role-playing games for preschool children”

.-Ed.
8-Rostov n\D: Phoenix, 2014.-251 p. — (School of Development)

4. Mikhailenko N., Korotkova N. “Organization of story-based games in kindergarten”

A manual for educators. 3rd edition, rev. Moscow, LINK-PRESS.

5. Federal state educational standard for preschool education.. – Access mode: https://Ministry of Education and Science. rf/news/3447/file/2280/13.06.14-FSES-DO. pdf

Stages of developing independence in children

Independence is a kind of instinct that is inherent in us by nature to ensure the survival of the species. It first appears at the age of 1.5-2 years, when the child begins the “I myself” period. From this age, it is important to encourage expressions of independence, and, if necessary, gently push the child to perform certain actions.

1.5-3 years

This period is accompanied by the acquisition of basic self-care skills: the child learns to eat, drink, dress, wash himself, etc. He is very inquisitive and strives to understand the world around him. It is important to support him in all his endeavors, trying to provide him with maximum freedom, while not forgetting about safety measures.

3-5 years

It is a difficult age when a child begins to feel like an independent person (as it seems to him) from his parents. The need to be independent at this age is very high: the child tries to “grope” the boundaries of what is permitted, argues with parents on any issue, tries to prove that he is right, even if he himself understands that he is wrong. Not all parents are ready for such behavior, and often “kill” the independence of their children with parental authority. By the age of 5, the child:

cleans his room independently (collects toys, makes the bed, puts things in the closet);
participates in cleaning the house (wipes dust, puts things in their places);
helps in preparing food - performs simple tasks under the supervision of parents (grease the pan with oil, add flour to the dough, mix the salad, etc.);
pours himself water or juice from a bag or bottle;
takes care of the pet (able to feed and clean up after the pet).

At the age of 3-5 years, children form a scenario according to which they will later build their lives: the nature of relationships with people, behavior in critical situations, etc. Psychological traumas of this period are what the child will return to throughout his life. own life. The task of parents is to minimize these traumas and form a strong foundation in life that will give the child a good start in life.

6-12 years

When a child enters school, a new area of responsibility appears—study. Gradually, he acquires the skills of planning his time, learns to be responsible for his things at school and in preparation for it (pack a briefcase, take a uniform for physical education, etc.). This is a period when the child is still attached to his parents, but is already quite independent on his own. By age 12 he:

completes homework independently;
has his own household responsibilities along with adults (takes out the trash, fully cleans his room, can buy groceries, etc.);
monitors the cleanliness of his clothes, takes things to the laundry in a timely manner without reminding his parents;
cares for the pet (walks, feeds, cleans without prompting);
treats adults with respect;

By the beginning of adolescence, the child is completely independent in self-care and learning - he does not need reminders or control in these areas.

Adolescence 12+

Personal independence is the last stage that is important to complete on time. At this time, it is necessary to give the child more freedom, to allow him to make his own decisions. If in the early stages parents did not stop the child’s attempts at independence, then in puberty there should not be any serious problems with this.

However, conflicts with parents during adolescence are inevitable. There is an opinion that they are due to the need to separate children from their parents in order to create their own families and have children. A century ago, by the age of 18-20, a person could be called an adult: he was truly ready to create and provide for a family and raise offspring. Today, according to Rosstat, the average citizen of our country gets married at the age of 25-34 years. Modern psychologists explain this by the so-called “epidemic of infantility” of the new generation. That is why they recommend paying great attention to the development of independence skills in children.

Why is this necessary?

The concept of independence includes not only self-care skills. There is such an education in it as arbitrariness. Due to it, a person controls his behavior. The child’s success at school depends on this.

With good development of the level of arbitrariness, it is easy for a student to sit in class, concentrate on the task, and absorb the material. This quality has a positive effect on the formation of adaptation to society. The reaction of the social group depends on how correctly and quickly the child adopts the norms of behavior.

Voluntariness serves as the basis for the following skills:

Ability to obey rules.
Orientation in the system of requirements.
Hear and listen to others, follow verbal instructions.
The ability to perform an action based on a visual model.

In preschool age, a child is more prone to impulsiveness and situational behavior. Therefore, you should not expect instant changes from him. From the age of four, you need to help him develop control over his actions.

What mistakes do parents make?

All parents strive to raise their children to be independent, but sometimes they unknowingly make mistakes that have the opposite effect. The roughest of them:

doing for a child what he is able to do himself is easier, faster, safer, more effective, but more detrimental to independence;
letting your child perform an action on his own, and then redoing it before his eyes - this practice kills the desire to try it yourself next time - why, if the mother will do it much better anyway?
impose help and advice - in this way the child is deprived of the opportunity to try to solve the problem himself; if this happens regularly, this skill never has time to develop;
invade the child’s personal space: burst into the room without knocking, put personal belongings in order, check pockets - such actions deprive the child of a sense of security in his own home;
untimeliness - discrepancy between the set of skills that are being taught and the age of the child;
punish for the consequences - scold the child if his attempt to show independence ended in a complete fiasco (broke a plate, ruined clothes, etc.);
use an imperative tone when communicating with a child - this tone allows you to achieve obedience, but solely out of fear, and not because of awareness of the essence of the problem;
“rescue” at the last moment - coming to the aid of a child who has reached the end, doing housework or homework for him, thereby depriving him of the opportunity to feel the consequences of his disorganization and laziness.

Give your child a choice

What should parents do if they want to develop their child’s independence? Your baby should be able to make independent choices in everyday situations :

what toy he wants to play with;
orange or apple for breakfast;
will draw with pencils or paints;
what he wants to draw;
walk with dad in the yard or go with mom to visit her friend.

And, of course, you can’t completely suppress a child’s initiatives. Adults just need to be sure to control the boundaries of children’s behavior. This is necessary in order to guarantee the safety of the child’s activities. Children do not have the skill to anticipate danger. It also needs to be shaped, just like the development of independence.

How to raise a child to be independent?

No matter how old a child is - 2 years old or 18 years old - it is never too late to help him become more independent. To do this, you should follow simple rules.

Always be interested in the child's wishes and preferences . This applies to food, leisure, profession, hobbies, etc. From the first years of life, a child must firmly know what he wants and learn to make decisions on his own.
Allow to make mistakes and not make a tragedy out of a mistake . Mistakes are an experience; the child must understand that everyone makes mistakes, learn a lesson and try again.
Providing assistance according to the principle “Help me do it myself” is one of the principles of Maria Montessori’s early development method, aimed at developing independence in children from 2 years old. It consists of explaining how to do this or that action on your own, and not performing it instead of the child;
Involve in household responsibilities from an early age . Each child should have his own area of responsibility - this is his contribution to the family as a full member. A two-year-old baby can easily help his mother in the kitchen, put away his toys and wipe the sink after himself. At first, parents should monitor the fulfillment of these responsibilities, then only remind them, and already at school age the child’s responsibility is fully formed.
Make sure that the child has enough free time (at least 1-2 hours a day) . This will help him identify things that are truly interesting to him, and not imposed by parents or teachers.
Consult . Involving your child in discussions about household chores is beneficial for building a child's self-worth. Consult with your child about what outfit you should wear, what to buy for dinner, and what gift to choose for your older brother.
Set a positive example . By demonstrating your best qualities, you create a favorable atmosphere in the family, which has the best effect on the child’s personality.

These are general recommendations that every parent should follow. Perhaps you instinctively follow these tips - this suggests that you have chosen the optimal style for raising your children - democratic.

Here are some more practical tips on how to develop certain qualities in your child.

Complex tasks

Children of senior preschool and primary school age often have difficulty completing complex tasks. They are simply not able to keep in mind all the components and the order of their implementation. To help them overcome these difficulties, you should:

break the task into small blocks (bring clothes from the closet - put on trousers and a T-shirt - put on boots - take a briefcase);
recite each block to the child for several days;
replace verbal accompaniment with graphic or text prompts (pictures or a list of blocks), that is, let the child get ready without your help;
achieve complete independence.

This simple algorithm works even in cases with hyperactive children and saves a lot of time and effort for parents. It can be used for cleaning the room (clear the table, under the bed, on the floor - take dirty things to the laundry - make the bed), table setting (arrange plates - lay out napkins - get cutlery - put glasses), morning hygiene measures (wake up - wash your face - brush your teeth - take off your pajamas - make the bed - put on clothes), etc.

Self-organization

Teaching a child to manage their time wisely is not an easy task, but an important one. Self-organization is not only about punctuality, but also about time efficiency and personal productivity. Some tips for parents:

hang or place clocks throughout the house so that they are always in front of the child’s eyes, even better - buy him a wristwatch (not a smart watch or a smartphone - unnecessary functions will distract him from the main thing);
to speed up the daily routine (washing, changing clothes, breakfast), use timers or hourglasses so that the child learns to quickly get ready for school;
if a student has difficulty getting up early, you can set a new alarm every morning or record a message with a hint where you hid a treat for breakfast, another option is to record his own voice as an alarm melody: children like to listen to themselves in the recording, this will speed up awakening and will make getting up easier.

If you want your child to be independent, do not stop him from taking initiative and making mistakes, be there to make sure he is safe and help if you are asked to do so. Maximum freedom in accordance with age is the most important condition for growing up and the harmonious development of a child’s personality.

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A few words about the concept of “independence”

Independence is often understood as a specific property of an individual that helps to realize oneself as a person. Currently, teachers and psychologists pay a lot of attention to the development of children's independence during the period of preparing preschool children for the start of school. This is the most important period in the development of a child’s personality.

If a child is independent, he takes initiative and takes a responsible approach to any activity. Independent children exhibit some independence. Whether it's a gaming or educational activity.