Etiquette is the generally accepted norms of behavior of people in society. Children, just like adults, need to know how to behave. And mothers and fathers, grandparents, aunts and uncles, all close and dear people should help them in mastering etiquette.
The importance of children's etiquette
Why burden a small child with such issues as etiquette and deprive him of a carefree childhood? Who needs it? Let's answer these questions and talk about the importance of children's etiquette. But they really need him! First of all, to themselves, and not to their environment, as many people think. It is in childhood that the foundations of human behavior, character traits, and habits are laid. The kind of upbringing a child received in childhood determines his future success, education, career, and life in general. In addition, etiquette opens the door to society for the child. A culture of behavior and communication helps a child to be understood and heard. It is pleasant to deal with, talk to, and communicate with a well-mannered person, regardless of his age and status. A child who knows and follows the rules of etiquette develops the correct attitude and understanding of conscience, morality, morality, and responsibility.
At what age should children be taught etiquette?
By telling the child about the rules of etiquette, we teach him good manners. It is necessary to explain to a child how to behave and how not to behave from the time he begins to walk independently, eat at a common table, talk, and actively communicate with people and peers. From about 1.5 years of age, the child needs to be explained and shown how to behave at the table. If before this time, he was forgiven for having a table, face, hands covered in porridge, forgiven for the fact that he could take food from someone else’s plate, etc., now he should take this more seriously. The child has already developed a fairly well-developed awareness of what is happening, what is being told to him, what is being demanded of him. When he starts talking, you need to explain how to behave with people. For example, when meeting someone you know, ask your child to say hello, and when parting, ask him to say “goodbye.” For ease of communication, usually very young children are first taught to say the words “hello”, “bye”, “you”. This is also education, at the most basic level. At the age of 2-3 years, it is necessary to explain that such treatment is appropriate with peers, but with adults it is necessary to communicate differently, with more restraint.
What should parents understand?
Children first learn rules of behavior from their parents. It is mom and dad who show their son or daughter an example of how to behave in a given situation. Parents must remember that the child follows their example in everything, so the behavior of adults must be thoughtful and balanced.
Mom and dad must remember that it is impossible to force their child to learn certain rules. This can only cause a protest from a son or daughter. Learning is best done while playing. For example, you can learn table etiquette by playing with dolls.
If parents behave competently, the child will certainly copy their manners. Good manners will also manifest themselves in society, which will help avoid awkward situations.
Children's pranks
When a child reaches into a common dish, scatters pieces, knocks with a spoon and demands something, some mothers think that everyone should be touched by cute pranks. All this is “attributed” to childish spontaneity. However, the child grows up, and it turns out that time is lost. If you failed to instill rules of behavior in your child from the age of three (later from five) and you only begin to tell him about “what is required” before going to school, then you risk being hopelessly late. Perhaps in those situations that your child considers important, he will still be able to restrain himself, but if he forgets for a minute, he will immediately commit a tactlessness.
Rules of behavior during a school lesson
Children of early school age, as well as children 10-12 years old and older, should know the norms of behavior in a school lesson.
Let's call them:
- You need to sit quietly.
- It is important to listen carefully to the teacher.
- When the teacher enters the classroom, the children stand up.
- If you need to go to the toilet, you need to raise your hand and ask permission.
- You can't talk to classmates.
- If you are asked, it is important to stand up and go to the board.
Each class's rules of conduct may be slightly different. The teacher tells the children about the norms of behavior and monitors their implementation.
Let's play and learn
Often when visiting, finding themselves in a close circle, the quietest kids begin to make a fuss. To prevent this, conduct a “rehearsal” in advance of how you will go on a visit. The home dining table is the best training ground for practicing the rules of behavior. You can tell your child fairy tales about wizards at dinner, or you can tell stories about how to behave and, thanks to this, wonderfully succeed in society. Lunch will pass unnoticed and usefully. You also don’t have to exhaust yourself and your child with a detailed study of the rules of etiquette for children.
First, help your child understand the main positions:
• Etiquette is a set of rules adopted so that people can communicate freely and confidently with each other without disturbing others with their actions. Understanding this, the child will easily understand why, when visiting, one should not poke one’s little nose into other people’s things without asking, interfere in the conversation of adults, throw pieces, make noise, and so on;
• modesty, calm behavior and tolerance are the true adornment of a guest, even if he does not know all the subtleties of etiquette. Therefore, it is best to wait until they offer you some dish or serve dessert, rather than noisily demand it. A large company, especially at a common table, is for a child the first test of his childish selfishness. The desire to attract special attention to one’s person should recede, and in order to reinforce his good behavior, it is a good idea to reward the child with a prize. Which one? Try to awaken your imagination. No one knows your baby's preferences better than you;
• for a child, the world around him is a field for play and exploration. Therefore, he is interested in finding new ways to eat and use spoons and forks. He perceives etiquette as something that interferes with his curiosity and creativity. And only one explanation will reconcile him with the strict rules - they were invented so that everyone could live in peace with each other;
• ask him: “Would you like it if a little brawler sat next to you, screaming and causing mischief?” I think not, so act like someone someone else would enjoy being around.”
Basic standards of safe behavior in the summer on water and in nature
When relaxing at sea or in the forest, there are separate etiquette standards for children and older children. Let's look at them in more detail:
- It is forbidden to go far from the resting place.
- It is forbidden to climb into a fire if an adult has lit a fire.
- When eating, it is important to follow the same rules that are used at the table.
- You cannot throw garbage or break tree branches.
- It is forbidden to enter the water without parents and to swim far from the shore.
- It is important to maintain good hygiene and not put your hands in your mouth.
In the pictures below you can see illustrated rules of behavior on the water.
In the following illustration you can familiarize yourself with the basic rules of behavior in the forest. They apply to children and adults.
Be an example
Adults, unfortunately, often live by a double standard. At home, in front of a child, many of us allow ourselves to do whatever we want, but when we go out “in public,” we are literally transformed.
And it is difficult for the baby to understand why the mother, who had just been sitting on the windowsill, swinging her legs, simultaneously noisily sipping tea and chatting loudly on the phone with her neighbor, suddenly changed her behavior and now froze at someone else’s table with a frozen look, demanding the same from him . Children are not characterized by hypocrisy and rapid transition from one behavior model to another. The greater the difference in the behavior of loved ones, the more difficult it is to raise a baby within the framework of generally accepted rules.
An English proverb says: “The best sermon is a good example.” And do not forget that the example must be constant. Otherwise, having forgotten yourself for a minute, you will shock those around you with a sharp change in behavior. If you want your child to always and under any circumstances behave in such a way that he is held up as an example of a well-mannered person, then behave constantly in accordance with the rules. Both at a party and at home. The sooner you start social behavior lessons, the better. Mothers take their children to various educational courses, forgetting that the most intricate knowledge and skills will not help if the child behaves like a “bear in a china shop.”
Teaching etiquette from childhood is perhaps more important than learning a foreign language or anything else. A person can master a foreign language at any age, but an ignorant adult is incorrigible. He has formed habits and patterns of behavior on a subconscious level, which means that, even recognizing the need to behave more modestly, he will automatically act ugly.
But how can we ensure that remarks and prohibitions do not stifle character and the creativity that exists in every child? Constantly lecturing him, he will feel constrained at a party, fearing that he will not act comme il faut (as he should), to put it in French. It is possible to structure upbringing in such a way that the child’s imagination will develop and the rules of behavior will be remembered.
• Children love to do things the other way around. The only saving grace is that they love to play even more. Play the game "Princess and the Pea" several times - let your baby turn into a royal offspring and, as such, goes for a walk, says hello and eats at the table. Mom’s job is to say “Your Highness” and act as if you yourself are a queen or at least a lady of the court. At first the child will pretend and overact, but then he will get into the role.
• You can play etiquette using toys. Let the dolls visit each other, walk down the street and there... Then your imagination will tell you. By coming up with improvised scenes, you can show how funny it can be to look at an ill-mannered ignoramus and how nice someone who behaves correctly looks. You can come up with two permanent heroes with pronounced negative and positive characters. Don’t forget to praise the “good” doll and give another a chance: “Well, her friend will soon improve.”
• Many children's poets and writers have works on this topic that clearly explain the rules of behavior in pictures. It is remembered better in poetry. When choosing books for the night, give preference to these poems and stories. More than one generation has grown up reading Mark Twain’s novel “The Prince and the Pauper” or the poem “A bear of five or six years old was taught how to behave...”. Memorize the most useful lines. This way you will be supported by more authority.
• Draw your child's attention to well-mannered people. You can do this while walking, visiting, or even while watching TV. Watch historical films from the point of view of etiquette in different eras and among different peoples. Explain to your son or daughter why people behave the way they do. You should not repeat a phrase that does not explain anything to the child: “That’s how it is!” if he asks why people bow funny. Say that you have previously expressed respect and trust in your interlocutor in this way.
• There are two ways to educate a person - to scold for incorrect behavior and to praise for exemplary behavior. Rich human experience suggests that the second method is still more effective.
How to behave if your child is alone at home
Situations often arise that parents are forced to leave their son or daughter at home for a while. At the same time, it is extremely important to explain to the child how to behave in this case. The main rules include:
- You cannot open windows or a balcony if it is a multi-story building.
- It is prohibited to open the gas or use matches or lighters.
- Do not open the water and play with it.
- It is better to spend time quietly, reading books or watching cartoons.
- It is forbidden to invite guests without permission.
- In any emergency, you should call your parents.
- It is forbidden to go outside without leaving the apartment.
- If there is a fire, you need to call “01”, if strangers are breaking into the apartment, you need to call “02”.
Under no circumstances should you open doors to strangers. If a stranger asks if you are alone at home, say: “Dad is sleeping, you can come later.”
Types of politeness
The manner of communication and the form of politeness are determined depending on the situation and the people with whom you will interact. There are these types of politeness:
- Official. It is characterized by increased tactfulness, and addressing the interlocutor exclusively as “you”.
- Unofficial. It is distinguished by a minimum of strict conventions, addressing the interlocutor on a first-name basis, and communicating in an informal setting.
- Impersonal. This is a transitional form of address from “you” to “you”, where one of the parties is the initiator of communication.
Official
This is the basis of business communication. Communication is “dry”, has no color or emotion, and includes behavioral and speech etiquette, appropriate for official business meetings and important negotiations. The interlocutors communicate clearly and correctly, maintain the correct dialogue, and choose every word. This expression of politeness can create some tension in the conversation.
Ritual-ceremonial
In this case, a polite person observes folk traditions and all necessary rites (rituals), according to a specific event to which he is officially invited. We are talking about weddings, religious holidays, social events, anniversaries, and other special events. To comply with the rules of social etiquette, certain phrases are used, as they say, “on occasion.”
General rules of child behavior
We invite you to consider presentations on the topic of children's behavior in various places in verse. You can show them to your child too.
On the street
At the table
On road
Away
Where should I start?
Where do the rules of good behavior and etiquette for children begin? At the initial stages, a child should be taught discipline by gradually introducing a daily routine into his life. He must go to bed and wake up on time, and also learn simple sequences of actions: washing, brushing teeth, dressing, etc. And in the future - do homework, rest at the strictly allotted time. All this will help the child feel confident and secure; he will acquire the skills to organize his activities as rationally and efficiently as possible. And also focus your attention on what is important at a given moment in time.
Every child should follow a daily routine
A significant advantage of the daily routine for children is also the most accurate “tuning” of the child’s biological clock. Which, in turn, allows him to adjust his sleep and rest patterns, protecting the nervous system from overload.
In the early stages, children's guidance should be the parent's direction. A younger student can be asked to work together to develop a daily routine that he will adhere to. In middle school, parental control comes down to simple tips that guide the child’s activities. The next step will be for the child to acquire the skill of organizing their day independently.
Table etiquette training
By learning to clean his room and put his toys in their place, a child not only helps his parents keep the room tidy, but also develops skills that will be valuable to him in the future. This is, first of all, the ability to organize activities, systematize, the ability to filter information and separate the essential from the insignificant.
Conclusion
You see that, in general, table manners are not so complicated and do not require so much effort from children. All restrictions are based only on respect for other people's space and comfort.
The importance of table etiquette for children is comparable to the importance of other rules of politeness. Such rules make them worthy people, pleasant interlocutors and develop self-esteem.
In conclusion, I want to share an interesting educational video about table etiquette for children:
And that's all for me. I hope my tips were helpful to you! Read, reflect, put them into practice, show them to your friends and share on social networks. And be sure to come back again. See you again!
